Our story begins on a typical August evening in the far north of Canada when a prince sometimes called Svelte declared to his princess that her laundry was getting out of control… again.
It was impossible to disagree with him, it was indeed out of countrol. A veritable mountain of laundry had grown while he was away on his business trip to take over his own laundry bin. This is the only reason why he had to say something. He is usually very understanding of my aversion to laundry but when his own bin is compromised I have gone beyond the pale. Fair enough.
Perhaps running and the sweaty clothing it generates was to blame, more likely laziness. But the reason matters not! Something had to be done. That something was laundry.
I trudged down to the basement multiple times and got that mountain washed. It was still a mountain, but now a clean mountain.
It is important to know that our bed situation had changed the day before. We had a very high bed until the day before the laundry mishap. It was a four poster deal that I could only get in by dive rolling which is dangerous when tired or drinky. Picture trying to roll onto your kitchen counter to get into bed every night. Chinook has pretty good ups so she had no problem with it, but Switch being twice her size and not nearly as springy was having more issues. I was done with the dive rolls and deemed that the high bed had to go, so Svelte had disassembled the bed and put our mattress on the floor college style until we find a better lower frame. The repercussion I did not anticipate was the loss of my laundry folding platform. It was the perfect height for that.
I sat down on my new low bed to tackle mount laundry. One hour later I was still folding… and had sunk into my amazing tempurpedic bed. These beds are amazing for sleeping in (if you’ve never tried one it is worth every single cent and more) but not amazing for sitting in the middle of with no back rest. I was doing some weird laundry folding hunch thing that was setting my back on fire. I got up, my back rebelled. I had a line of fire to the right side of my spine! I groaned, I whined, I complained. If a Pudgy Princess yells in her room with no one around, does she make a sound? If it does princes don’t hear it. I laid down and sulked.
Svelte eventually came by and asked if I was taking a little break. “I hurt my back!”
“I hurt my back, it’s killing me!”
“Weren’t you just folding laundry?”
“Yes! It hurts!”
“You’re seriously telling me you have a laundry injury?”
I had a laundry injury. I was not finshed with the laundry but I was seriously finished with the laundry. You know? It was just about time for bed so I put away what I had done and went to bed. No sleep happened because my effing back was in a full spasm! Ridiculous.
I can’t be 100% sure here but I’m fairly certain the last laundry injury occured in 1403 when a washer woman who was beating her lord’s clothes on the rocks down by the river slipped and was washed away by the current never to be seen again. Who gets a laundry injury? Nobody. Nobody gets a laundry injury. Ever.
This happened the day before my almost 5k run so it didn’t stop me from running and didn’t bother me at all on the run. Today and yesterday I’ve been sitting in a classroom for some work training and it’s really been twinging. I had the option to run today or tomorrow. I didn’t run today after work. I stopped by Princess Ear Handle’s place and she gave me a very nice present. A bottle of Kracken Rum! So I had two very good reasons not to run tonight. A bottle of Kracken, and a bottle of Appleton rum I already had at home. Have I mentioned that I like rum?
Tomorrow I will acomplish something I have never acomplished before. I will run in the morning before work. I have tried countless times to get up before work and exercise. My alarm goes off, and then I say “what the FUCK was I thinking???” and turn it off. Why will it be different tomorrow?
- I am telling you that I will do it. This is the only reason why I’ve made it over the two week hump and am still running at all. Real humans are reading this. I told you I’m gonna do it, so I’m gonna do it.
- Kracken will make sure I don’t run after work
- If Kracken doesn’t make sure, Appleton will.
So ask me tomorrow if I ran in the morning. I don’t want to deal with the shame of telling you I didn’t.
Also, don’t fold laundry for an hour while sitting on a tempurpedic bed with no back rest.
Also, don’t let your laundry pile up so much that you have to fold it for an hour. It sucks 😉
Epilogue: my laundry is still not done but Svelte has his bin back so he’s happy 🙂