A New Year, With No Mistakes in it Yet

Anne of Green Gables said “Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet”. Well, I suppose L.M. Montgomery really said it…  but the point is we have entered a brand new year, with no mistakes in it yet. A new opportunity to get it right, to do life differently than I’ve done it before. I’m taking it.

I’m going to make mistakes, that’s for damn sure. But just for today, I started it off right. I met all my debaucherous goals last night and woke up feeling pretty bad in general, but not quite as bad as I thought I might. I dragged myself out of bed and got ready for the resolution run today. I met James there and while we were waiting to get started I noticed that unlike the Terry Fox run where every type of body you can think of was represented, everybody there looked like a runner. I felt super uncomfortable and out of place and almost walked the fuck out of there. I told James what I was thinking and he talked me off the ledge. While I know that I am a runner, I still don’t look like a runner and today I felt that times one hundred. No one was unwelcoming in any way at all, I just psyched myself out for some reason. Good thing my Jedi was there.

We set out for the run and while I expected a 5k it turned out to be a 7.5k loop. I ran it with James and another Firefighter Combat teammate of his that I met today. I didn’t want to have a run like yesterday’s, which totally sucked for me, so I decided to do it better. This is not always a decision I can make, but today it worked. It probably helped that I had someone I didn’t know running with me. I felt uncomfortable holding him back but figured he could leave us behind if he wanted to pick it up. I had a lot of leg pain yesterday and today James asked me how my legs were about halfway through. I was trying really hard not to think about my legs so I just said “doesn’t matter” trying to keep my brain off the subject. The boys seemed to like that one. I wasn’t even trying to be funny, but I’m glad it gave them a laugh anyway.

When we finished up my family was there waiting for me playing Eye of the Tiger from the truck speakers. They cheered me in to the finish and it was super funny and felt really really good. All in all it was an awesome way to start the year off. Of course I took no pictures with them or James and am now kicking myself for it, as usual.

I do have one picture. James took some action shots while we were running and sent me one. My whole family said it was good; I hate it. HATE it. All I can see is how far I still have to go, and my little piggy nose and my chubby face. I have full withdrawal banshee tears running down my pudgy cheeks right now looking at it. I’m glad I have it though. I’m keeping it for next year. Next year at resolution run I will put that picture beside another one from the 2017 run and feel completely different than I do right now. Instead of letting it get me down too much I will let it rage fuel me into being better. At everything. Just like Khan.

Things went slightly downhill from there for me. It was really warm for Whitehorse today, about zero degrees Celsius so it was a beautiful day for a run. Unfortunately I layered up a bit too much based on how windy and terrible it was yesterday and therefore got super sweaty. My family went out for lunch together right after the run and I didn’t bring a dry change of clothes; didn’t even occur to me that I might want one. It wasn’t super warm in the restaurant either so I was freezing and shivering and starving a little, thus ending my mistake free year on day one. Then I ate a big sandwich because I was so hungry after the run and after I wolfed that thing down the food combined with some lady pains made me have a super bad tummy that was unpleasant. Add to these two problems some nicotine withdrawal and you have a terrible Bermuda triangle of misery and discomfort. Of course this had to happen to me today just as I was spending the last couple of hours with my family before they flew away for home. Sorry if I was a little grumpy guys. I had a great run but I was really feeling pretty crap after. They are landing in Vancouver as I type this and I miss them already. It’s hard to believe the visit flew by so fast… but I know they were really here and it wasn’t a dream because there’s a puzzle that’s ¾ finished on my dining room table and a fridge full of leftovers to prove it.

After dropping Mom and Dad, Grady and Jess off at the airport I rushed home where I took a lot of medicine, crawled into bed and immediately fell asleep for an hour and a half. When I woke up I felt warm again and spent some time with Buffy before heading here for the New Years recap.

Even with the crappy parts, today was a good kickoff to the year. A good run, time with family, and who doesn’t love a nap? I was going to talk about my watch that I got for Christmas and is on it’s way to me but I think I’m out of words today. I’m having the worst cigarette craving right now. A drooling, whimpering, crying because I can’t have one craving. So I’m done for the day.

Cheers to 2016, it will be my best year ever. I will make it so.

~PP

6 Comments on “A New Year, With No Mistakes in it Yet

  1. I thought about you so much yesterday and I was wondering how the run went and how the hangover was going. I am so happy you posted again so quickly. I think about you every morning when I am saying bad words to Shaun T on the television as I try to accomplish my own goals over here. I can’t tell you enough times how proud I am of you for writing out this journey for yourself and for those who have your back. It’s such a wonderful idea to document all the exciting moments as well as, what feels like some days, equally shitty ones. So much of this adventure is a mental one and it’s clear to me that this is shifting for you which will just make your success that much better!

    As always, we are rooting for you over here in Red Deer and eagerly awaiting the next hilarious post! Keep up the excellent work!

    G and B

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks G! Loving you from afar as well and I hope you and Shaun T are very happy together this month. He sure is nice to look at, even if he makes you swear at him, lol!

      Like

  2. You look like a runner because you ARE a runner! Don’t let others intimidate you because you have earned the right to be there just as much as they have. You are doing so great!

    Liked by 1 person

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