Just Fucking Do It 

One year has gone by since I started this blog. That seems crazy. How can it have been that long?? I had a birthday last week and I’ve spent my thinking time since then evaluating where I’m at and where I’m going. I’m also celebrating a year of blogging with a fresh new look for Pudgy Princess!! I hope you like it! 

It was an amazing year for Cameron and me. I did so many things and learned a lot and got out and enjoyed life. Last year one of my vague goals was to start feeling like I was living instead of just existing. If that was the only criteria I judged this year on then I’d say it was a resounding success. But there’s more to it than that. I wanted to be so much further ahead of where I am right now and this week feelings of failure, (along with an – overly enthusiastic dancing – related minor back injury) have kept me in a tired rut of defeat. I’m trying to haul myself out of it now by laying out exactly where I wanted to be vs. where I am, and why that is.

I was running with James the other day for the first time in a while and he told me to look as this new year as a fresh start. I told him that I can not look at it as starting again. That’s so discouraging. I’ve started again so many times in my life. But this time I haven’t quit, so there’s no need to start again. There’s nothing wrong with starting over when that is what’s required… but that’s not where I’m at. I’ve decided to think of this month instead as a reset. Basically the device is still running but things are getting slow and crashing often and maybe just turning it off and turning it on again will fix it up. No need to chuck it and get a new one. An old fashioned reset should do the trick.

Yes… I basically just called myself a PC.

For the last month and a half I’ve been a little checked out and fitness has definitely come second, or third or fourth in my life. I’m putting it back on top starting now. My one year blogiversary. I used to think of it as my job and my number one priority, and it will now be put back in that place. It has to be that way for me. Jump in with both feet and give it everything I have.

I got 20% of the way to my goal last year. I want to lose 100 pounds, I lost 20. I put no timeline on that goal so that I wouldn’t feel awful if I didn’t meet it. It’s important to me to keep going no matter how long it takes. I still feel great about my loss and I’m so much more comfortable just doing normal life things being more strong and fit with those pounds gone, however at that rate it will take me five years to get to my goal. That’s too long. I’m not insisting on a deadline for myself to lose the 100, but I will not give up until it is done and I’d certainly rather it was faster than slower. So after this birthday/one year of blogging reset I’m going to stop hanging on to my old crappy attitude towards my nutrition and tackle that next. I know how to work hard, now I have to eat right.

With that in mind going forward, let’s take a look back.

I really have had one of the best years of my life. It started out with a visit from Princess America just over one year ago and her challenge to run. I took it and kicked off August of 2015 with walks around my neighborhood that evolved into running slowly for barely one minute at a time. There were many minutes of walking in between those painful run minutes and it was very hard but I kept at it. One month later Alison took me to the stairs for the first time. I met James there and then things really kicked up a notch. A friendship began that has taught me what hard work look likes like and how to do it. Although I don’t believe I’ll ever achieve his level of discipline and work ethic his example makes me want to be better, and I am better because I know him.

My most stalwart supporter is Alison without question. She regularly kicks my ass and endures my whinging to make me do things I don’t want to do. This year she has kept me going to the stairs, running, and even took up the challenge of teaching me to cross country ski. I suspect she may have kept teaching me after the first session mostly because of my sound effects (of terror) and apparently hilarious facial expressions, but that’s ok. We had a pretty good time and I’m looking forward to doing it again this year when the horror of winter descends upon us once again.

I recently hiked up hills with Jenna which one year ago would have been incomprehensible to me. That reminded me of how far I’ve come even if I was feeling discouraged about my progress. I hauled the hose around at the fire hall and climbed their tower countless times. I had an awesome trip to South Carolina where I got to hang out with the awesomest of friends and also managed to run almost every day.  I shot guns at the range and kickboxed with James wherever we had space and time to do it. My family came to celebrate Christmas in the Yukon and we rang in the New Year together. 

I ran in the sun and the rain and the snow. On warm days and frigid days. On roads and trails and around the animal preserve. I went to the Policeman’s Ball in Watson Lake with Cameron and danced the night away with Jon and Jenna. My friends and I carried sand up the stairs twice to celebrate the loss of each ten pounds.

This summer I learned to ride motorcycles which now, to me is freedom. Cameron taught me with the patience of a Saint. In fact in everything this year Cameron has been my number one fan and encourager. One month after getting my license we went on a bike trip from the Yukon to Vancouver Island and back again. We visited family and friends and I learned a lot about what I’m capable of, even when terrified a lot of the time. Halfway through we both got new bikes and had an amazing time riding them home. A few weeks later Lyndon Poskitt came to stay at our house for short a break during his round the world trip and my motorcycle hero became my friend. The three of us went on a glacier flight and did the black street stairs and rode bikes together. He worked really hard at his administrative and media stuff while he stayed with us and inspired me in another way, to work harder on my blog.

In the last week of reflection what I’ve realized most is that at the beginning my blog really fired me. Writing about my experiences running and otherwise was so motivational. I got lazy and I’m not only resetting my running and nutrition but my writing as well. I’m taking two blogging courses right now that will help me stay on top of my writing and explore new sources of inspiration and motivation to keep going…. I hope that this in turn will motivate my running. I’m beginning by setting more measurable, achievable goals in three categories. Running, nutrition and weight loss, and blogging. My project this week is to map out three goals in each area with measurable milestones and actual plans for achieving all of them (and also to put all my laundry away).

James asked me the other day what the biggest thing I’ve learned from him this year has been. I replied instantly “it doesn’t matter how you feel, just fucking do it.” James just does the things he sets out to do. The weather is insignificant, how much energy he has or does not have is insignificant, everything other than the work he has set out for himself is insignificant. Unless there is a legit injury or illness, feelings don’t matter. This I know in my head but lately I’ve been letting my lazy feelings rule the day. For August, it doesn’t matter how I feel, I’m just going to fucking do it. I commit to this now. Loud. August is reset month and I’m going to kill it. I have the Klondike Road Relay in September, my first actual race and I will be prepared for it. I will go into it knowing that I did everything possible to prepare for it in the few weeks I have remaining.

My counter for the Disney Princess half flipped over to 6 months yesterday. That gripped my heart with terror. “I can’t possibly be ready” I thought.

Bullshit.

I will be ready. It’s doesn’t matter how I feel each day. My motto for year two, in a small twist from Nike’s version is: just fucking do it.

The time is passing anyway, I plan to make the most of it.

Cheers to being a little better, everyday.

 ~PSquared

The Inaugural PPR Vlog

Today Alison and I completed the ceremonial dumping of the sand, and we videoed it. I hate pictures, and I hate videos even more. I was thinking there was a good chance I’d just keep this for myself. Then I realized that was the easy choice once again. It was a pretty cool experience and Alison’s idea to do this is amazing.

The video changes quality a couple of times because my phone decided it had enough of the cold and shut down in the middle of filming. So we switched to Alison’s phone which is in a derp proof case… probably an excellent idea. Perhaps a GoPro will be on my Christmas list if the vlogs continue (the vlogs will probably continue).

I woke up at 4am today and couldn’t get back to sleep because I was so excited about doing this. The vampire transformation has begun…

I hope you watch and enjoy our shenanigans.

The song is Naked by X Ambassadors. Partly because I love the song and partly because that’s how sharing a video makes me feel – naked… figuratively.

~PP

Jedi and Padawan – A Running Tale

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My Jedi and I had an interesting run. Everyone has limits and Friday, James reached his. I will outline the picture for you and then let James colour it in.

It was a day after I did stairs and we had a millennium trail 4.2k loop planned in the afternoon. In the morning James asked me if I would keep up with him if he wore full fire gear and weights totaling 100 pounds. Last time he wore gear he was wearing 92 extra pounds and I was still falling behind. That was only last Tuesday. I told him that while I’d like to say “hell yes” I had to settle for “I’ll do my absolute best and hope so.”

On Tuesday I was between night shifts and very tired both in the brain and the body. It was a miracle I made it around that trail without stopping to walk. Friday I felt exactly the opposite. The sun was out and even giving off a little warmth. The sun always makes me happy. I had a case of stair legs from the day before but I still felt good, full of energy and excited for a run. James was coming straight from a hard stair session. In fact he got a new PR of 36 seconds to the top of the stairs beating his previous record by 4 seconds. Let me remind those of you who have never been there what these stairs look like.

stairs

Thirty-six effing seconds.

So with that considered and feeling good I thought I might have a chance to keep up. James put on his weight vest and fire gear and had to load up his jacket pockets with weights to reach that 100 pound mark. He wanted 100 because that was where I started and he wanted to know what it felt like to run with the challenges and discomfort I face, which is pretty damn cool.

We set out. He was breathing hard right away. This time though, instead of the satisfaction I felt last time from knowing James was human, I was a little worried… and I don’t generally worry. About anything. After 1km-ish I had 100% Medic brain. I couldn’t stop asking him if he was ok… I think I asked him about 10 times and that was half as many times as I wanted to ask. He assured me that he was in the zone and it was all a mental game. It seemed like a physical game to me. I didn’t know a person could breathe like that for so long and keep going. It made me think that as hard as feel like I push myself, a person can push harder; can push harder. I thought about how my legs were sore for a total of two seconds before my mind went back to him and getting him around the trail alive. I told him his legs were strong.

I didn’t think about myself again for the rest of the run. It must be how he feels when he runs with me or any of his other clients who’s fitness level is so far below his own. There’s a fine line between pushing someone farther than they think they can go but really can go, and pushing them too far. I realized I didn’t know how to walk that line for someone else. I had to trust him to know where his limit was, because I most certainly did not.

We ran for another two kilometers, I worried for another two kilometers. He was obviously hurting, and at about 3km he found his limit. We stopped, James breathed. We walked for a bit and he was still hurting. I asked him how much his air tank weighed. He said it was about 35 pounds. I told him to give it to me. After some protest I managed to get the tank from him on the condition that I had to run with it on. I put it on and it felt pretty heavy. But it still wasn’t even taking half the extra weight he was carrying. So I sucked it up and we started running which was hard, but I was doing it. We didn’t last long before James was done. We walked the rest of the way. I tried to take the weights out of his pockets but he wouldn’t let me. Eventually he told me to give him his tank back. I asked him if he was one thousand percent sure he was ok and really wanted it back and he said he was. I called him a liar, but I gave it back anyway. We made it back to the parking lot and once he got his gear off we sat in the sun for a few minutes reflecting.

James told me that this would make an interesting blog entry. I told him I didn’t think I’d write about it and that I thought he should instead. And he did. Obviously I ended up writing about it too, but I didn’t know what he was thinking and feeling and that is a vital party of this story.

So, here are some words from James.


Its somewhat ironic that the first blog entry I write is about personal defeat, rather than victory.

As a personal trainer who prides himself on never quitting, leading by example and working in areas that are otherwise uncomfortable to most people, it is difficult for me to start here. However, as a part of my journey to be better than I was yesterday while learning more about fitness leadership, I will agree with Kirstin that writing this narrative as my first blog entry is not just a good idea, it is necessary. And yes, it is uncomfortable.

I push hard. I am inspired to push hard because of various moments in my life, good and bad, that have shaped me. I haven’t always been like this, but I have always been fairly extreme. Most of the life changing lessons I have learned come from mistakes I’ve made working as a firefighter and a fire chief for various small departments. Like everyone else, these moments have made me the guy I am today, and I am thankful for all the lessons I’ve learned over the years and continue to learn today.

The other day I attempted to run a 4.2 km course with “My Princess”. I carried with me some extra weight in an attempt to replicate the challenge similar to what she must face, or anyone for that matter, attacking fitness for the first time against tremendous odds. The weight was not important. Nor was the distance really. The fact was, I was determined to push myself to a breaking point and keep going.

Beginning the run, I felt great, although a little tired from a workout I had just completed 30 minutes prior. I had done this same distance a week before with just slightly less weight and so I knew it the task was completable, with determination. But it certainly would be a test.

I told myself the usual motivating quotes to get through the workout… ” No one else can do this”; “This is what I do… no other hobbies; just run with a ton of shit on my back”; “there is no other place I would rather be right now!” For the most part, that worked.

I was beginning to break down fast. My spine felt like it was going to snap in half. The lead vest under the air pack was banging against my vertebrae and I could feel a bruise developing. Kirstin then asked if she could carry my gear. I knew she was in full Paramedic mode watching out for me, listening to me breath, as in between gulps of air I made various funny noises struggling under the weight. I told her, in the most steady voice I could muster, that was normal and that I had been here before. Which I had.

Then at about 3/5ths of the way through the course, I stopped. I just stopped.

I couldn’t believe it. I quit an exercise a year ago and it affected me for weeks! And I had just quit again! Its strange; when I quit a workout, I dwell on it.

Hunched over trying to straighten my spine, and again she asked if she could carry my pack – a Scott NXG-7 System with Carbon Fibre 4500psi bottle rated for 60 minutes; equivalent to about 35 lbs.

I was stunned for a second and agreed. I gave it to her, gladly.

After a minute or so of walking, weight vest and 4 sets of ankle weights still crushing my spine, I had a shameful thought. Here I am; the fire department fitness trainer, Special Operations, assigned to help people get fit, and I am the one being helped. I wanted to take the NXG Pack back immediately, Harden the Fuck up, and move out.

As time went on, I was mostly consumed by my selfish thoughts; feelings of disappointment and embarrassment. But at the same time, I was very proud of my Princess for taking the additional burden off my shoulders. The unexpected benefit of my failure while trying to feel what she and others must feel, and push though that discomfort, was that she was now the leader, protecting me. She was not concerned with her own pain, ability or inability and was solely focused on me. She had taken on the responsibility of carrying my gear; something I haven’t let anyone do since I was 17. She essentially was carrying me.

As we emerged from the forest trail, I demanded my pack back. I was too embarrassed to have her carry it where others could see. I’m ashamed at this request now as I reflect back on the moment. I should have allowed her to carry it the distance. Kirstin had earned the right to carry the weight the rest of the way; I had not.

She knew it was important to me and returned it for me to finish off the course, walking.

What did I learn from this experience? Quitting sucks – I knew that from last years failure. Most human beings have breaking points. But just because you quit the workout, doesn’t mean you give up. Perhaps giving up is even worse than quitting. Giving up to me means, you’ll never do it again. Yes, I quit the workout, but I won’t give up. I’ll go at it again when I’m ready. I also learned that it’s great to see people I help take the leadership role. That’s really awesome. Also, to accept help when offered and to have the humility to be thankful for it.

I’m not afraid of failure and I’m not afraid of finishing last; I am afraid of quitting. One of my heroes, Rich Froning once said “I Failed, is 10 times more of a man than someone who said, What If” . I believe that. I will attempt this run again soon. I may fail again. But at least I tried. And my partner, my Princess will be there to support me as I will continue to support her on this journey of ours! And together, we may fail and fall a few times, but ultimately, we will accomplish our goals together! I am proud she has chosen me to join her on this journey.

~J


When I read that I had already written my part of this blog except this one paragraph. It made me a bit sad that he was beating himself up so much, but very proud that he did something uncomfortable for him and wrote about it for me. Just last week we were talking about some run or another and he told me that I’d get used to being uncomfortable while I’m working with him and that it builds character. Obviously, he walks the walk.

James has been dragging me through runs for almost two months now. I make him talk to me when I’m tired, he is constantly encouraging me and making sure I’m ok. He carries my phone and my keys when I have no pockets and my gloves when my hands get too hot. Now I finally got to carry something for him, to encourage him, to make sure he was ok. It was awesome.

It made me want to push my limits and find out what they are. It made me want to go farther and faster and harder. It made to want to stop fucking around with my nutrition and get it right, and I’ve done it since that day.

I wouldn’t trade that run for a run that went well, or even one that was great. I wouldn’t trade it for a personal record pace that was a minute faster than my last time. It wouldn’t have learned so much from it, and I wouldn’t remember it like I will this one.

So here’s to James, my Jedi! When he is weak, he is still strong, and I feel so lucky to know him, and run with him, and learn from him.

~PP

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When You Can’t Sleep, Blog!

countingsheep

It doesn’t happen to me too often but it is one of those nights when sleep is elusive. I was lying in bed and my brain wouldn’t shut up. Getting up and writing seemed like a good alternative.

Last night Jenna and I went to the gym and the pool again. I did 25 minutes on the rowing machine and I can feel in in my back and shoulders today. I really like that thing. We went to the pool after and it was busier than last time. I wanted to get the eff out of there when I saw it was busy, but Jenna wasn’t having that and we got to swimming. After we finished 40 minutes of lengths we hopped in the lazy river to float around in it for a minute. It turns out that the lazy river is not so lazy, that sucker moves! We ended up laughing our faces off for 20 minutes while acting like children. It was awesome.

Today I was back at the stairs with quite a few friends. I wanted to get a photo of all of us but I forgot and I’m kicking myself for it because it was a great group. I did six (I think) sets of stairs in 30 minutes. I forgot to start my watch at the beginning of the workout so I can’t say for sure. It was either six or seven, although seven is a little hard to believe since my record before today was five. But either way, improvement! One of the guys was trying to be super encouraging but every time he told me something it was less than helpful. Here’s one example –  “don’t worry, it gets easier. Well, no it doesn’t actually, you just get faster. It doesn’t ever get easier.” He got a sarcastic “thanks” for that little gem. He was super nice and encouraging though, and I appreciated the effort if not the execution. I reminded myself that I called him (along with James) “Satan’s Minion” in the blog after my first stair session and gave him a pass.

After the stairs today and a lot of assassinating people (while playing Assassin’s Creed) I was pretty beat. We went to bed at about 9:30 and I thought I’d fall asleep right away. I even said to Cam that going to bed when you’re super tired is the very best part of the day… but it didn’t work out for me. My brain wouldn’t shut up. I was thinking about workouts, and whether I’ll be able to run tomorrow or be walking instead due to stair legs from today. Then I thought about what I was going to do on the weekend. That led to thinking about next week and fitting in my runs around work… then how I can get some exercise done at work between calls but without getting down on a gross ambulance station floor or getting too sweaty. I did not find a solution.

I thought about my nutrition and how if I get that shit on track the pounds and inches will hopefully start melting away even faster than they already are. I thought about all the clothes I have tucked away that will fit me soon… and how I don’t have any smaller running gear waiting so I’ll have to get new stuff as I shrink, and that was exciting.

Usually putting on my sleepy time playlist works so I fired up the music… which made me remember that I left my guitar in my locker at work and that I need to remember to pick it up tomorrow… then what songs I’m working on and what new songs I want to learn. Then what song I would sing if I was told I had to sing my last song ever. I thought about that for a while; I couldn’t decide.

So I started counting sheep… which made me think about knitting and what projects I’m planning for this winter and what I want to get started asap for Christmas. I decided to go the knitting store tomorrow, then I got excited about that.

Finally I said “fuck this!” and got up. So now you know a little bit more about how my crazy brain works, I’ve had a bowl of frozen blueberries and now I’m off for a midnight hot tub and then hopefully to sleep!

Here’s to Z’s!

~PP

Back in the Game

After a crap week last week I am back in the game.

I kicked off this week at the Canada Games Centre with Jenna. We headed there after work and started out at the gym. I ran for 10 minutes on the treadmill just to see how my leg felt and it was fine after 6 days of rest. I did get on my bike a couple of times during the week but I didn’t run. After a quick run I got on the rowing machine for about 15 minutes and it was pretty fun. My back and arms got sore pretty quick… I think I’ve been neglecting my upper body lately in my pursuit of running glory.

We headed to the pool and it was pleasantly deserted, which is the perfect way for a pool to be when a Princess appears in a proper bathing suit for the first time in about 15 years. In fact it was the first time I’d done many things in ten or fifteen years, and I kept Jenna well informed. Here is a list of things I told her I hadn’t done in x number of years:

  • Gone to the gym
  • Used a rowing machine
  • Gone to the pool
  • Worn a real bathing suit
  • Swam a length
  • Worn goggles
  • Changed in a pool changing room (gross)
  • Done a somersault in the water (I did a few while we were swimming)

I may have exasperated her with my reminiscing.

We swam easy for about 45 minutes and chatted while we swam along and it was wonderful. Here’s a fun fact. When you are doing the breast stroke, and your butt floats and your boobs float you better have a flexible spine because you fold in half backwards. It was awkward and hilarious. We got a good laugh out of it and I evened it out with a few lengths of backstroke just to keep my back happy.

After swimming I was reminded that you should bring baggy sweat pants to put on after. Getting yourself back into slightly sweaty tights while trying to hold your towel in front of you because you’re not eleventy years old and you know it’s not cool to parade around naked in the change room is a task of epic proportions. It’s like trying to get your sleeping bag back in the case after the first time you take it out, only with more hopping around, slipping and swearing.

The next day was a run day. Andy taped up my leg with KT tape like a boss and I hit the Millennium Trail for 5k with James. My leg did pretty good and only starting twinging with about 1.5k left but it never really got too bad. I refused to look at my watch or let James tell me how fast we were going and ended up with a new personal best!

I felt awesome after that run. I was actually pretty nervous starting out because I thought I’d have gone backwards after a week off. The first time I ran with James I could only run 9 minutes before I needed a walk break. That was on September 16th. Now, about six weeks later I can run the whole thing and I’m getting a little faster!

Then and now. Same amount of time for the run but yesterday was a half km farther and almost a minute faster average pace.

thenandnow

I worked night shift last night and today after a few hours of sleep I met James again for another Millennium Trail loop. This time James was wearing his full fire gear and a weighted vest for a total of about 92 extra pounds. That’s almost as many extra pounds as I have (5 down, 95 still to go). I was super tired and it was windy and cold when we set out. I told James I didn’t think I was going to make it today without walking. He said I would, and I dragged myself around that trail and somehow made it happen. It felt like my legs were barely moving sometimes.

Halfway through I told him that running today after night shift was a bad idea. He assured me that it was, in fact, a great idea. I was not convinced. I think I was fueled solely by anger that James had an extra 92lbs on and he was still outrunning me. Not anger at him though, just at me… And not bad anger I don’t think. It made me keep going this time rather than getting me down. I will outrun him one day when he has that gear on. I will. His uppance will come.

My one comfort was that I actually heard him breathing hard for the first time today. That was pretty satisfying.

Here we are after the run. Yes my hair is crazy. It was super windy, I swear! But even with crazy hair it’s a great picture.

kirstandjames

I am so happy I went and was wrong about it being a bad idea. I’m working nights again now and I feel a lot better than I usually do on my second night.

This week I have another swim planned tomorrow, stairs on Thursday, and at least two more runs. It’s awesome to be right back in the game after a slump.

As Journey says, don’t stop believin’!

~PP

Kirstin vs. the Wood Pile

This monster was delivered yesterday.

woodstart

The annual fall wood pile. Cameron stacks it by himself every year. After all, wood is a man’s job generally, right? 😉 So today I thought I’d surprise him by stacking it all for him while he was at work. It turned into more of a battle than I expected and there was definitely a winner and a loser.

I took the dogs for a walk at 11:30 and when I returned I put on my hiking boots and some work gloves and got in there. I crawled around the side to get into the shelter and started stacking. After about half an hour as the pile receded from the entrance I realized that a wheelbarrow would be beneficial. The problem was I couldn’t get it around the pile. I thought about trying to get it over the top but I have occasionally been called clumsy and if it can be broken, spilled, tripped over or fallen off of then I’m your huckleberry. So over the top was out. I kept stacking and made myself a nice wheelbarrow lane way. Score one for Kirstin! Suck it wood pile.

woodmiddle

With the wheelbarrow in play I was motoring, but to get from picture 1 to picture 2 took about 90 minutes. See that piece of wood standing up in the middle of the shelter? I stuck it there as a seat while I took 5 right before taking this picture. After taking it I got right back to work filling up the wheelbarrow. Then I backed it into the shelter forgetting about my seat. I backed directly into it, tripped, fell backwards ass over tea kettle and narrowly missed the wheelbarrow landing on me. Honestly.

My middle name is Lee. My father is wont to call me Kirstin Graceful-Lee. It’s really that bad.

Score one for the wood pile!

With the contenders being tied one a piece, our story continues…

The offending seat was kicked, sworn at vigorously and thrown out of the way. I rallied and carried on. Shortly after I must have found the keystone. I pulled a piece of wood out which caused about fifteen other pieces to cascade directly on to my shin. More swearing, some Peter Griffin injury breathing through clenched teeth and possibly a single tear. Two for the wood pile. 

Nothing else hilarious happened but the fall and the shin injury caught up to me after a while and I was cold, and sore, and grumpy. After three and a half hours of work I conceded defeat at 4:00 pm. There was no way I was getting it all done before Cameron came home. It was going to be such a great surprise too!

Three points and victory to the wood pile!

woodend2

did make a pretty big dent in it though. I also burned 1400 calories and walked 6 km back and forth ten steps at a time apparently. And even though I didn’t finish it Cameron was still very surprised and impressed. So all was not lost. And look at those pretty stacks.

woodend

Things stacking wood is good for:
  • endurance
  • grip strength
  • calorie burn
  • impressing husbands
  • monotony
  • dust and dirt – in your eyes, nose, mouth, pockets, boots and (even if your jacket is zipped up to your chin) between your boobs.
  • sneezing
  • bruises
  • back pain
  • hilarious falls
  • swearing
  • having a nice pile of wood
Things stacking wood is not good for:
  • sanity
  • walking upright ever again

Thus ends our tale of Kirstin vs. the Wood Pile.


Earlier this week I had two very different workouts. The first one was a run on the millennium trail with James. We ran and chatted about my food and goals and such. There was no plan, just run as much as possible and walk for a little bit when needed. I ended up with a personal best pace, again! 9’01” per km over a 5 km distance. I felt great! Strong and fast.

The next day was the stairs. I was grumpy. I don’t know why, I just woke up that way. I didn’t sleep well which didn’t help. I didn’t want to do the stairs but I also didn’t want to waste my time going there and not working hard or waste James’ time coming there to help me. I couldn’t shake my bad attitude and grumps. I felt slow and weak especially compared to the run the day before when I felt so great. And it pissed me off that I couldn’t shake those feelings. So I felt angry at myself, and grumpy, and sweaty, and tired, and slow, and weak.

I was disappointed in myself, and I so hate to be disappointed. Whether it be in myself or something/someone else it’s one of my most hated feelings. It almost always brings tears, and it did yesterday too. James could tell something was bugging me and asked me what was up. I told him I felt weak and slow and it was so different from how great yesterday was. Then I tried to cry on the inside like a winner, but failed. He said there’d be days like this. He said I was there instead of on the couch even when I was grumpy. He said days like this are why people quit. He said a bunch of stuff that I obviously needed to hear because I kept going. I was angry, disappointed, sweaty, tired, and crying. But I was still running those fricking stairs. Luckily I was super sweaty so the tears just mixed right in…. unless you looked at my eyes, then it was pretty obvious. I said to myself that as long as I could still see I’d keep going no matter what bullshit was coming out of my eyes, and I did. I did stairs for a good 20 minutes in sob land.

Today I feel much better, aside from the Attack of the Wood Pile injuries. But my spirit is recovered and I’m excited to keep going once again. Those days before were quit days in my past. But I’m not that girl anymore. I can’t be. I’m so fucking sick of being a quitter and I won’t do it anymore.

I’m starting to believe that I’m really going to do it this time. Every other time I’ve tried to lose weight I’ve done it quietly, mostly by myself and without telling many people. It’s safe that way you see? You can fail quietly too. Nobody knows. This time I’m doing it loud, out here for the world to see. If I fail, I will fail loud too. That’s scary. But doing it loud has another unanticipated advantage which is better. The support I’ve gotten from old friends, new friends, acquaintances, people reading this around the world, and my family has been amazing. I didn’t realize how much that would mean and how motivating it would be. Thank you all.

~PP

Here’s a funny picture of Switch and Chinook… just ’cause it’s cute.

funnyswitch

The Terry Fox Run

This post is a day late but not a dollar short! Yesterday the Terry Fox Run was my first official event. I reached my goal to raise $100 for the Terry Fox Foundation thanks to my generous donors: Sue and Phillip, Andy and Heather, and the King and Queen. Thank you all so much!

terryfoxcrowd

It was a beautiful fall day and about 300 people ran or walked with many others there to cheer and support. Princess CindyLouWho came to run with me and we had a nice big cheering section. James was there too and he had a plan for me – run 9 minutes, walk 45 seconds – repeat, keep the pace consistent, and don’t chat too much (haha!). He ran in full turnout gear like a crazy person and was still lightning fast. Here he is near the finish line.

jamesatterryfox

jamesatterryfox1

I stuck to the plan and at the end I thought I was about two seconds slower than the pace I ran with James last week. But when I got home and looked at my fitbit stats I was wrong. I was actually faster than that pace by 5 seconds/km. Wahoo!

terryfoxpace

While this wasn’t really a “race” it still felt great to participate in my first organized event. There were no numbers, timers, or even a start/finish line and it was a really good way to break myself in to the running scene without any pressure. I was nervous at the beginning but it was mostly because I was about to run around people. Lots of people, with eyes that could see me and ears that could hear my ragged breathing. A friend told me that I’d be surprised by the variety in body types at races and she did not lie. Every variety was represented and I didn’t really feel too out of place at all once things got going.

Thoughts I had before the run:

  • There are one million people here
  • My hands are cold I should put my gloves on
  • My hands are hot why did I put these gloves on
  • It’s chilly should I wear both of these jackets?
  • My shoes are too tight – loosens shoes
  • My shoes are too loose – tightens shoes
  • My shoes are too tight – loosens shoes
  • My feet are going numb, I think they’re still too tight – loosens shoes
  • Everyone is going be looking at my wobbly bits
  • Cameron is going to be taking pictures, I hate pictures, but I need pictures for my blog, and he takes really good pictures, so I’m glad he’s taking pictures.
  • Omg it’s time to start! Are my shoes too loose?

Thoughts I had during the run:

  • That girl in front of me has really beautiful hair
  • Thank god Cindy is running this with me!
  • I’m so hot! This jacket has got to go

That’s all I can really remember… lol.

Here we are rockin it at the finish.

kirstatterryfox

And one of me and James post run

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So all in all it was a success! Thanks to our cheering section – Quinn, Alison and Memnon the Destroyer, Sean and Cameron. You all rock!

One year from now it will be very cool to look back at these photos and see how far I’ve come.

~PP

The Question on Everyone’s Mind

Can I walk today? YES! I can!

I’m am sore but it’s a good, normal after workout sore. Not a – you may never walk again – sore. Win!

I don’t have much else to say today so I have decided to wax lyrical about the joys of Body Glide. If you haven’t heard of it, this miracle product prevents the horrors of chafing while running or doing any exercise really. I had read about it in the six running magazines I bought this month but I kind of thought that it was something for the hardcore runners that go long and ultra long distances. However when I was at the local sports store I saw it there and thought about my pudgy thighs and their… lets say, issues. 

Various chafing injuries have sidelined me from exercise for a few days more than once in my life and more than once in the past six weeks since I hopped on this crazy train. So when I saw that little pink stick of what might possibly be heaven I snapped it up.

Body Glide Her

The first time I used it was on the inaugural Black Street Stairs day, the very same day I bought it. Not half an hour after my purchase in fact. I was chatting to my friend Gillian in the parking lot getting ready to head up when I remembered it there and decided to try it out. I asked her to excuse me while I body glided… she knew exactly what I meant being familiar with its amazingness, but informed me with a chuckle that she usually did that at home before she left as I had my arm down my pants body gliding my thighs. I laughed and told her that I just bought it and I did plan to glide in private generally, haha.

Oh. My. Gawd. It is heaven! I CAN’T believe I’ve made it to 33 years of age without hearing of this product. The target market may be uber runners but EVERY SINGLE Pudgy Princess should buy this! Buy a years supply, buy shares in the company, put it in your doomsday shelters, pack it in every purse you own, get one for your glove box and your locker at work! I would spray tan this shit on if I could. No more chafing and rubbing and awkward – I’ve just been on a horse – walking at the end of a workout (and for the next two to three days). I feel like I haven’t lived before this.

So Body Glide, thank you for being amazing… and you should advertise specifically to the Pudgy Princesses out there… If you do, I sure haven’t seen it. I would have bought it years ago if I had. I’m fairly certain every big girl (and boy) who starts exercising would buy it. You’re really missing out.

~PP